The End Times: what went wrong? - part 1. Also swearing. A bit.

I've made myself a promise, when starting this blog, that I'd not use any major swear words. Not because I wanted to attract the 6+ demographic, but simply to avoid unnecessary cursing. However recent "revelations" concering the ongoing End Times event made me change my mind. Drastically.

I'll state this plain and simple: they've fucked it up. There, I said it. End Times are friggin attrocious and what started as an interesting, nay fascinating, plot-driven, apocalyptic scenario, turned into a half-assed, lazy, stupid, uninspired shit-fest that rapes 20+ years of established fluff with a rusty rake. 

Now if you've read my earlier posts, I was really ecstatic when the End Times debuted. Finally something happened in the good, old Warhammer world. Finally something moved forward. After the dissapointment that was the SoC retcon, us Fantasy enthusiasts had a chance to witness a brand new chapter in one of the most iconic settings in existence, and in what style none the less! Nagash himself has returend, and Archaon once again mustered his forces in the north to crush the weak lands of the south. The Skaven united for the first time in history! Shit was going down, and it really looked like a whole new and exciting chapter for Warhammer Fantasy.

Then something went very, very wrong.

For me it happened with the release of the "Glottkin" supplement. While the "Nagash" book was indeed very good and thought out, clearly linked to the "Sigmar's Blood" campaign, published a few months earlier, the "Glottkin" felt rushed as hell. The story here was about the destruction of the Empire by the armies of Nurgle, led by brothers Glott, or Glottkin as they are more commonly known. Otto, Ethrac and Ghurek were ordered by the Archaon himself in weakening the Empire for his massive invasion and they did the job very, very well by destroying Marienburg, Talabheim and Altdorf (sort of, large parts of it have been destoryed, but the city in itself still stands). They've also killed a number of less or more important heroes like Kurt Helborg and Louen Leoncouer and lost some of theirs, such as Festus and Ku'Gath.
In the end his moustaches weren't enough
Now I don't have a problem with killing off any major or minor characters. In fact the 'immortality" of such heroes as Abaddon or Marneus Calgar is what really irks me in 40K. However what I DO hate is the half-aasedenss of the whole ordeal. Simply put, the End Times are feeling rushed, and it started with the "Glottkin" book. Why, you may ask? For starters the way the GW described the whole invasion. Suddendly half of the Empire is wrecked. Just like that. No building of tension, no describing of upcoming doom, simply "those Nurgle guys are coming through the borders and fucking you up". It is very, very badly written and explained how major human cities like Marienburg and Talabheim fell. I get the general idea of Chaos legions of Nurgle to use plagues, but the way it is described is simply weak. "Lol yeah, those sorcerers out there summoned a rain of plague and shit, and it destroyed your city. Lololol, kk bye bye" is the general explanation. I wonder why only now the Chaos forces were able to cast such a spell, twice even! Talabheim, one of the most impenetrable and well fortified city in the whole of Empire, falls to exactly the same trick as Marienburg. Wow. Simply: wow. That is what I'd like to call lazy writing. Sure, the Talabhimers put up a decent fight, but in the end they're gone. Remember how the battles, victories and defeats were handled in the "Nagash" book? They were vell thought out, well described and could invoke both sadness and immense satisfaction. "Glottkin", sadly, is free of those traits.

The trio of Nurgle's champions themselves are portrayed weirdly, to say the least. On one hand we've got an awesome model, which will easily be the centerpiece of any Chaos army. On the other hand, their fluff is weak. Their mother, who is an experienced mage non the less, gives birth to three boys, who all sport a mark of Nurgle, and she dosen't know what it is? Really? The whole "Nordlanders came and slaughter their kith and kin" was taken almost directly from the Storm of Chaos character arc of Feytor the Tainted. However their weakes point is the fact that the trio are... completely underwhelming. There is literally nothing special or awe inspiring in them, nothing that marks them out as different that all the other 300967693473,98 Nurgle champions that roam the wastes. In case of Nagash and his lieutenants there was no mistaking their sheer power and lethality, earned during the long millenia of their existence. The Glott brothers on the other hand, are simply some random Chaos mooks, whom we should suddendly start taking seriously. Ummm, why?

Sigmar preserve us! It's the... wait, who are these guys again?
The only semi-redeeming thing in "Glottkin" was the battle for Altdorf, which at least was done somewhat right. Not only was it described well, it was engaging and the events were making sense (as much as they can in a Warhammer world). The death of Kurt Helborg and the near-death of Karl Franz were sitting ok with me, since even the strongest Empire heroes are still ultimately mortal (Valten may be an exception here). Unfortunately I'd preffer Altdorf to get sacked, then it being saved by the God-Emperor of Mankind in the form of Karl Franz, getting empowered by Sigmar (probably) with one of the winds of magic. To say that this sucks would be an understatement. This is fucking horrible. You've took a guy, who was always politician and a statesman first, and warrior second, and turned him into a magical ass-kicker of epic proportions, who, with a flicker of his palm, nearly destroyed the Glotts and then managed to single handedly "clear" Altdorf of all chaotic and undead presence (Vlad von Carstein used the power of convienience to escape the city some time earlier). What the fuck GW? Is that what WFB has came to? Now every faction needs to have a Super Saiyan-level character? Including the faction that was known for being about common people and their daily struggles against a world full of monsters that were, almost every time, stronger, quicker and generally more powerfull than they were? Really?
I know, I know. I've already made that joke once
 And you know where this is heading, don't you? We will need to have an epic, apocalyptic, world-shattering battle between Archaon and Karl Franz on steroids. You just know it. For me it will be the final nail to WFB's coffin.

I'll be wrapping this up now, since I'm so pissed off. I've wanted to initally write this post about both "Glottkin" and "Khaine" books, but decided to split it up into two articles. One factor was the time, of course (sorry, only one post per week, I don't have time for more) and the other was the fact, that while the second End Times book is bad, the third is simply atrocious, but also quite hilarious in its stupidity and weak-ass writing. You'll find out why, soon enough.
Don't look at me like that!
Until next time!

Xathrodox86

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