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6/29/2015

My problems with the Age of Sigmar and Games Workshop in general. Rant warning!

With the Age of Sigmar pics and rules details doing the rounds, I've finally realized just how much interest I've lost in this hobby.

Call me a pessimist, a killjoy, an unreformable fossil from a previous era. I don't care. To me the Age of Sigmar is simply a betrayal of highest magnitude. It's horrible. It's atrocious. From the cesspool that was the "End Times" came Age of Sigmar, a game that has almost nothing to do with Warhammer Fantasy, at all.
Look at the models. Look at the (supposed) fluff. We have some shiny new world with not-Dwarves and not-Elves (copyright is fun!) with hundreds of generic fantasy nations all around. Into this world the SIGMARINES come on their wings of fury and boy, do they look retarded.

Words cannot express my rage

Sanguinary Guard resemblance aside, they look nothing, nothing like anything from Warhammer Fantasy. There are no vibes, no references (hammers don't count), literally nothing WFB about those guys. Discount Space Marines. Poor man's Warmachine ripoffs. Gold-painted turds with wings. Round bases aside, they are riddiculous. With heads too small and pauldrons too big, they really do look like Space Marines. This thing alone should tell you how much this sucks, because if there is one thing I do assosciate with Fantasy, it's everyone's favorite power-armoured shovel heads. Sure. All we need right now are some Dreadnoughts and Land Raiders, and 40K kiddies will devour this shit cake and ask for more. Because that's what GW thought when they made these... these things. To attract the 40K player base. Sure, the 40K outsells the Fantasy by a huge margin, but this is the worst way to capitalize on the success of this franchise. It's lazy and uninspired. The thought process here probably looked like this.

- Jeff Numbnuts: Gee Bob, Warhammer Fantasy tanks. We should do something to save it.

- Bob Moron: Add more Space Marines. They sell really well.

- JN: I don't know Bob. They don't really fit into our good, ol' WFB...

- BM: Bullshit. They'd fit into a fucking Disney cartoon, let alone into another Warhammer game. I mean, come on! It's still Warhammer. Maybe add those Sanguinary Guard. I love that kit.

- JN: This will end well...

It did not end well. All across wargaming communities, both in various FLGS and online forums, people are enraged. Sure there are places like BoLS where editors write poems about how awesome the SIGMARINES are, but then again BoLS gave the "End Times" a 5 out of 5 so it's no surprise really. However the general consensus is that these new minis, round bases and upcoming fluff about a world into which the game will take place, are worse than bad. Being uninspiring and completely lacking any attachement to old fluff - these are the hallmarks of the Age of Sigmar. I know that this product has not yet come to light and that I probably should not judge it before its release, but the thing is that it dosen't really matter. Those minis are all there is to be said about the AoS. Space Marines resemblance aside, they are also snap fit, making it easy for kiddies to assemble and play. Oh and they are a converter's nightmare, because of that little fact. Their official paint scheme sucks. Even the fucking hammers that they are wielding, look nothing like Ghal-Maraz. Good to know how much GW values the consistency of their fluff.

The Khorne warriors are even worse. Why? Because while the SIGMARINES simply do not fit into a Fantasy setting, the new Chaos chumps are generic to the extreme. I love how extremly bipolar this new release turns out to be, like they didn't gave half a shit. Oh, I'm sorry, but they didn't. Originally, rumors placed Age of Sigmar in June, however GW wanted to shove another two Space Marine codexes down our throats. Because God knows that we can't have enough of these, right? Fuck this new game that is meant to replace a 30-year old classic. Nooooo, more Power Armour and Pauldrons. That's what we fucking need. It astounds me just how little GW advertises their new title that is meant to bring new, enthusiastic players to their flag. Secrecy all around, no information about the fluff, models, crunch, ANYTHING. They've dropped a simple artwork of a Hammer and called it a day. Hey GW, that's not how marketing works! You can't expect us, fans of old game, one of the oldest fantasy miniature game with a very distinct fluff in fact, to just wait like a flock of sheep when you make a half-assed attempt at advertising your new product.

I love how they try to score some points by making the AoS logo look like something from old editions. It dosen't work tough

Just because you were great once, does not meant that you're great still, and guess what? You're not. This is a clear disregard for your players, who just happen to not be on the 40K side of hobby. Because there are such people, GW. People who don't collect any army from the Warhammer 40000 range, or at least not only from that game. I'm one of those people. I have two 40K armies, including a Space Marine one, but I also have more than a hundred Empire troops in my house. They are waiting on my shelves, unpainted and unassembled, reminding me of better times with this hobby. The saddest part is that, for the love of me, I can't convince myself to paint them. There is simply no point. Oh sure, the snippets of info from the web suggest that the old minis will be compatible with AoS or 9th edition, or whatever, even tough they are all on square bases (round is the new black!). But the magic's gone. It's gone. I look at these Empire State Troops and each time discover some new, cool feature. A gaming card here, a lack of shoes there, an hourglass or a bird's skull, hanging from their uniforms. Meanwhile the SIGMARINES look bland as hell, same with those Khorne guys (why is it Khorne once again BTW?). Generic poses, generic World of Warcraft-semi high fantasy style, nothing unique. Some people claim that they have an "ancient Roman look". Those people should really read a book, or watch some History Channel, because these new AoS minis don't have any historical vibe to them. Pteruges on models are not enough and never will be.

You're not fooling anyone GW

I'm writing these words and feel more and more disillusioned. A year ago, when the EoT began, I really thought that it will revitalize the aging and neglected machine that was Warhammer Fantasy. Never, in any of my worst nightmares, did I envisioned something like this. A clear disregard to a setting that kickstarted its parent company and gave it a chance to become the undisputed king of the wargaming market. Also a clear disregard to its fans, who belived that instead of taking an axe to their setting, its creators would work hard to make it popular again, to save it. Alas it was not meant to pass. Financial risks would have to be taken and less resources would've been put into the making of new Space Marine products, and we couldn't have that, could we GW?

You've failed your customers once again. Someday you'll fail them one too many times. Just saying.

Not even Brian Blessed could hope to save the Age of Sigmar

Until next time

Xathrodox86

12 comments:

  1. It looks pretty dumb, but right now there's a lot of logic to the rumors that this game is their new "skirmish" level game, an overdue entry into the popular warband-style tabletop games so hott right now, and that Warhammer 9th Edition will be a separate thing. Admittedly with changes in order to make all three systems more compatible, such as round bases. And WFB players may have to put up with Eternal Stormastartes somehow being on the table/involved in the fluff, but I'd like to think GW is smart enough to simply bring the Warhammer World back to life they way we all know and love it. The same way Superman, Captain America, Spider-Man, and the Earth itself have been brought back to life the way we all know and love them in comics and movies time and time again. There's no money in wacky new IP, there's lots of money in old, beloved IP (for further references see Hollywood and every movie they make nowadays). And there's a decent amount of money in threatening to destroy that old IP and saving it in the end.

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  2. You present some valid points there. However we still don't know literally anything about the upcoming 9th edition, if it'll ever be released in fact. There are rumors that Age of Sigmar will be the only "Fantasy" game available from GW, except Hobbit. Notice how they are trying to push this product into our hands. "We'll support it for years, everything will be in one rulebook, easy to build minis and it dosent' cost too much." This clearly shows that they want to release this bag of feces and then forget about it altogether, while pumping out more 40K content. This thought process is in line with their non existatnt support of the few Fantasy video games out there. "Mordheim", "Vermintide" and "TW: Warhammer" have zero, I repeat ZERO support from Games Workshop, while every shitty iOS exclusive game, set in the grim derpness of the far future gets a king's treatment. To me this clearly shows that WFB is finally deader than dead and it's creators have released a pent up sigh of relief, as they can now continue to work on some Pauldrons.

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    1. Agreed GW has consistently shown a contempt and lack of respect for their fan base in Warhammer Fantasy. This garbage game is a prime example of it.

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    2. I agree. AoS is nothing more than a bad joke.

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  3. I can't agree with you more.Seriously this entire article describes exactly why and how GW fucked it up with AoS.Exactly what you said up there.Warhammer Fantasy has been one of the top most succesful,most exciting,more badass Fantasy worlds out there for decades and this...this abomination now comes to replace it?

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    1. Unfortunately. GW only sees sales, and while this can be understood since they're a company and all, but Christ... talk about an anticlimacting ending for a setting that helped defined modern fantasy and really was one of the original games out there. Replacing it with AoS which has not only horrible fluff (or no fluff at all, to be more specific) but also rules set from hell, is a disgrace to both their clients and themselves. At least they could let die WFB die in peace and concentrate on not fucking up WH40K, but nooooo. They had to do it their way.

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    2. Truly it DID define modern fantasy,although many don't even know about Warhammer at all.I'm reading the End Times books now and although the battles are epic,the whole idea of the world ending like that and being transformed into that...ABOMINATION called "Age of Sigmar" is completely stupid and absolutely annoying for fans

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    3. In many ways yes, I agree. However the neglect of its parent company and lack of evolution beyond a generic, albeit very solid, fantasy system, meant that WFB was going to get scrapped sooner or later. The End Times were horribbly written, both fluff and rules wise, and I can't believe that this was the way that Fantasy eneded.

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  4. Just been reading about AoS and came across this...

    Know why it's crap what GW for another reason? Whelp, there goes WFRP... certainly can't role-play in "a grim world of perilous adventure" with the new "story" that's nothing more than the worst sci-fi, DnD, cyber-punk fusion....

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    1. Agreed! AoS is so far removed from the old WFRP and its geat atmosphere... I mean, that's basically a one, huge free-for-all combat engagement. Everyone is fighting everyone. There are no nuiances, no politics, no social aspects of the world. It's just a brawl and a crappy one at that.

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  5. So have you tried Kings of War yet? The background isn't as fleshed out yet, but the game is great and you can use your old models!

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    1. Not yet. So far me, and two of my buddies, we're sticking to the 6th edition. However we have plans to try out the 9th Age. Is KoW better than the 9th? I've heard many good things about it!

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Thank you for the comments. :)