With the Age of Sigmar pics and rules details doing the rounds, I've finally realized just how much interest I've lost in this hobby.
|Words cannot express my rage|
Sanguinary Guard resemblance aside, they look nothing, nothing like anything from Warhammer Fantasy. There are no vibes, no references (hammers don't count), literally nothing WFB about those guys. Discount Space Marines. Poor man's Warmachine ripoffs. Gold-painted turds with wings. Round bases aside, they are riddiculous. With heads too small and pauldrons too big, they really do look like Space Marines. This thing alone should tell you how much this sucks, because if there is one thing I do assosciate with Fantasy, it's everyone's favorite power-armoured shovel heads. Sure. All we need right now are some Dreadnoughts and Land Raiders, and 40K kiddies will devour this shit cake and ask for more. Because that's what GW thought when they made these... these things. To attract the 40K player base. Sure, the 40K outsells the Fantasy by a huge margin, but this is the worst way to capitalize on the success of this franchise. It's lazy and uninspired. The thought process here probably looked like this.
- Jeff Numbnuts: Gee Bob, Warhammer Fantasy tanks. We should do something to save it.
- Bob Moron: Add more Space Marines. They sell really well.
- JN: I don't know Bob. They don't really fit into our good, ol' WFB...
- BM: Bullshit. They'd fit into a fucking Disney cartoon, let alone into another Warhammer game. I mean, come on! It's still Warhammer. Maybe add those Sanguinary Guard. I love that kit.
- JN: This will end well...
It did not end well. All across wargaming communities, both in various FLGS and online forums, people are enraged. Sure there are places like BoLS where editors write poems about how awesome the SIGMARINES are, but then again BoLS gave the "End Times" a 5 out of 5 so it's no surprise really. However the general consensus is that these new minis, round bases and upcoming fluff about a world into which the game will take place, are worse than bad. Being uninspiring and completely lacking any attachement to old fluff - these are the hallmarks of the Age of Sigmar. I know that this product has not yet come to light and that I probably should not judge it before its release, but the thing is that it dosen't really matter. Those minis are all there is to be said about the AoS. Space Marines resemblance aside, they are also snap fit, making it easy for kiddies to assemble and play. Oh and they are a converter's nightmare, because of that little fact. Their official paint scheme sucks. Even the fucking hammers that they are wielding, look nothing like Ghal-Maraz. Good to know how much GW values the consistency of their fluff.
The Khorne warriors are even worse. Why? Because while the SIGMARINES simply do not fit into a Fantasy setting, the new Chaos chumps are generic to the extreme. I love how extremly bipolar this new release turns out to be, like they didn't gave half a shit. Oh, I'm sorry, but they didn't. Originally, rumors placed Age of Sigmar in June, however GW wanted to shove another two Space Marine codexes down our throats. Because God knows that we can't have enough of these, right? Fuck this new game that is meant to replace a 30-year old classic. Nooooo, more Power Armour and Pauldrons. That's what we fucking need. It astounds me just how little GW advertises their new title that is meant to bring new, enthusiastic players to their flag. Secrecy all around, no information about the fluff, models, crunch, ANYTHING. They've dropped a simple artwork of a Hammer and called it a day. Hey GW, that's not how marketing works! You can't expect us, fans of old game, one of the oldest fantasy miniature game with a very distinct fluff in fact, to just wait like a flock of sheep when you make a half-assed attempt at advertising your new product.
|I love how they try to score some points by making the AoS logo look like something from old editions. It dosen't work tough|
Just because you were great once, does not meant that you're great still, and guess what? You're not. This is a clear disregard for your players, who just happen to not be on the 40K side of hobby. Because there are such people, GW. People who don't collect any army from the Warhammer 40000 range, or at least not only from that game. I'm one of those people. I have two 40K armies, including a Space Marine one, but I also have more than a hundred Empire troops in my house. They are waiting on my shelves, unpainted and unassembled, reminding me of better times with this hobby. The saddest part is that, for the love of me, I can't convince myself to paint them. There is simply no point. Oh sure, the snippets of info from the web suggest that the old minis will be compatible with AoS or 9th edition, or whatever, even tough they are all on square bases (round is the new black!). But the magic's gone. It's gone. I look at these Empire State Troops and each time discover some new, cool feature. A gaming card here, a lack of shoes there, an hourglass or a bird's skull, hanging from their uniforms. Meanwhile the SIGMARINES look bland as hell, same with those Khorne guys (why is it Khorne once again BTW?). Generic poses, generic World of Warcraft-semi high fantasy style, nothing unique. Some people claim that they have an "ancient Roman look". Those people should really read a book, or watch some History Channel, because these new AoS minis don't have any historical vibe to them. Pteruges on models are not enough and never will be.
|You're not fooling anyone GW|
I'm writing these words and feel more and more disillusioned. A year ago, when the EoT began, I really thought that it will revitalize the aging and neglected machine that was Warhammer Fantasy. Never, in any of my worst nightmares, did I envisioned something like this. A clear disregard to a setting that kickstarted its parent company and gave it a chance to become the undisputed king of the wargaming market. Also a clear disregard to its fans, who belived that instead of taking an axe to their setting, its creators would work hard to make it popular again, to save it. Alas it was not meant to pass. Financial risks would have to be taken and less resources would've been put into the making of new Space Marine products, and we couldn't have that, could we GW?
You've failed your customers once again. Someday you'll fail them one too many times. Just saying.
|Not even Brian Blessed could hope to save the Age of Sigmar|
Until next time