You mad bro? A small talk about being butthurt in the grim darkness of the far future. Rant warning!

We need to talk dear 40K fanbase. We need to talk about your attitude, which lately has been... lacking to say the least.

But first a daily reminder that Age of Sigmar a shit.

Age of Sig....OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

Done. Now back to our scheduled program. I'll cut right to the chase, because I'm not in the mood to pan this one out. For the last couple of days the internet has been full of butthurt, whiny, nasal voiced assholes, complaining about "Mont'ka", the newest campaign addon for the Warhammer 40,000. The second part of the epic Tau vs Imperium campaign had made quite an impact on the 40K community worldwide, and by "impact" I meant "made a lot of Imperium fanboys butthurt like hell".

Now before we go any further, I'd just like to point out two things. One: I'm an Imperium player myself. I have 3 armies dedicated to the glorious Emperor, two of which are Space Marines. Second thing: I don't play Tau, altough I do like them a lot as a faction, mainly because of the air of freshness that they've brought to this setting. That said, when I was considering which army to collect next, I've finally settled on Legiones Astartes, and not little blue men. Like I've said, I'm an imperial at heart.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

That said, it's time for me to adress the current situation that is happening on various forums, websites, communites etc, concerning the "Mont'ka" supplement. In principal it's about Tau managing to beat the imperials and sent them packing. You see, after the events of "Kauyon", the Imperium has sent a huge Crusade fleet, which included Titan Legions, Skitarii, countless Guardsmen units and whatnot. Initially they've kicked Shadowsun's ass on Agrellan (Mu'gulath bay for you xeno lovers out there), due to Tau being unable to reinforce their depleted armies, but then - surprise Farsight!

Surprise buttsecks!

Farsight turns the tide of battle, as the master of Mont'ka, the killing blow, and together with Shadowsun they begin to take back the initiative. The Imperium grows desperate and decides, at first, to deploy the Assassins to kill the Xenos command cadre (they've only got Aun'va tough) and finally they use a doomsday weapon that scorches the entire surface of Agrellan and creates a fucking firestorm in space, which cuts off the entire Damocles Gulf from the rest of the Dominium. Nearly 50% of Imperium's forces get wiped out in the process, but hey - it's still a victory, right? The Xenos lost. They've lost to the superior might of humanity. Muh Space Marines! Muh Emperor! DURRRRR!

Well, no. Not exactly. The Tau actually won, or at the very least this one's a draw. First of all, they've managed to fend off an entire imperial crusade, which not only consisted of millions of Guardsmen and AdMech units, but also the entire Execution Force (usually deployed against things like Abaddon's lieutenants), two first-founding Chapters, which they've decimated, together with killing one of their Chapter Masters and  a buttload of Navy vessels. Despite all this shit thrown at them, they've still won and forced the Imperium to use its "fuck you we win anyway" card in the form of the aformentioned doomsday device. The Tau even managed to snatch some imperial tech which will come in handy, when they'll finally develop their FTL drive.

All in all, not a bad action on the Blue Guys side, eh? However it's worth mentioning that the Tau did suffered horrendous losses on the hands of the Emperor's armies, as well as having their Empire cut off from the majority of their forces. The Adeptus Mechanicus were also successful in nicking their air purification technology, for use on their Forgeworlds. Aun'va, the Supreme Leader of the Tau, also got killed and Commander Farsight has a lot to do, steeming the tide of Tyranids, who decided to try and omnomnom his Enclaves. All these points paint a picture of a victorious young race, who ultimately paid a high price for their triumph and is actually one of the better written conflicts by GW in recent years.

And then the Imperium fags came on and oh my God, are they fucking unbearable. I do mean - unbearable to the extreme.

It's too late for that. They've already begun to breed

All across the internet, Space Marine fanboys and Astra Militarum armchair generals shed the tears of impotent rage, as their Mary Sue factions got kicked in the gonads by the blue Xenos. Cries of "Shadowsun's plot armour DURRRR" and "Tau would never defeat my beloved Raven Guard/White Scars/Cadians etc." could be heard from the vaunted halls of Bolter and Chainsword to the blasted plains of 4chan's /tg/. The sheer outrage and butthurt that for once, for fucking once, the Imperium is on a losing side, was deafening. These morons analised every single engagement from both Damocles books, writing treaties claiming that, no really, Corvin Severax should totally kill O'Shasera and that the Execution Force should butcher every single Tau Commander, not only Aun'va, because they're Assassins and they're awesome and who gives a shit about the little, blue commies anyways, right?

The answer is: no and go fuck yourselves you shitposting retards. Seriously, someone posted a very good summary of imperial players in general - in that they're like a cancer on this hobby. I couldn't agree more, and I'm an imperial player. When I've begun this hobby, back in 2008, most of us were not THAT bad. People bitched about Matt Ward and the Ultramarine wank in general (which was overrated, but that is beside the point), but there was still a level of civility. Nowdays you can't go to any 40K board without reading how "Imperium rule and Xenos drool". The level of general hate towards any other faction than Space Marines, Ad Mech or Imperial Guard, which manages to grab a spot for even a short time is incredible. People who spend most of their time painting power armour and pauldrons, can't comprehend for even one second, that their guys are A) not invincible and B) prone to fail from time to time. Yes, the Imperium is the protagonist of 40K, but that dosen't mean it can't fail. That's what makes a faction great in the long run. Not it's myriad victories, not Marneus Calgar having a successful rematch with a Swarmlord or Sicarius blowing up the Necron Monolith with a Stasis Grenade, but the notion that these guys, even the superhuman ones, are still only humans and can lose. A hero who fails, but ultimately fights on is how you build a good narrative and make people interested in his developement, instead of just showing how great of a fighter he is, and how awesome and unstoppable he is in combat.

I know that most 40K players want just that, to know that their guys are the best and without any flaws, but seriously, that's just weak and childish and fucking pathetic. It's the equivalent of a fictional masturbation, wanting your heroes to be the best evah and treating all other factions as punching bags, getting outraged when they strike back, like the Tau did in "Kauyon" and "Mont'ka". The Imperium's players are generally just like that, and yes, I know that I'm generalising, but since being introduced into this hobby, more than 7 years ago, I've been keeping a keen eye on its fanbase. I'm not talking out of my ass, and this is really sad, because I almost wish that I had. I've never seen a fan faction more rage-filled, arrogant and downright disrespectful towards others, than the Imperium players, mainly the Space Marine ones, who have trouble with ackonwledging other people's factions, the fact that their pet marines don't recieve CONSTANT updates ("why there are no captains for every single chapter's, every single company?") and let's not even mention the level of rage, when one of glorious Astartes chapters gets its ass kicked, like White Scars and Raven Guard did in Damocles. The hate train has no brakes, let me tell you. Then there's the cry of "Tau/Eldar/Necron Codex is OP!", because it has an easy way to deal with a 3+ Armour Save, or their vehicles also have Ballistic Skill 4! Oh those bastards, how dare they do this? It's not like our basic units are above average in stats and armour department. They should be even better. Quick, release the next Space Marine Codex... two months after the last one. What? Faction X hasn't been updated in years? Well fuck those guys, they don't wear pauldrons.

"For the Emperor!"

So yeah, here you have it. The community is experiencing a shitstorm of epic proportions, because the Tau DARED to score a win, altough a costly one, but most of the imperial morons don't seem to realise that. For them the only important things are that Severax, a dude with two pieces of artwork and no backstory, got melted by Shadowsun and that the Xenos had an upper hand, for once. Oh, whatever will you do, dear Space Marine/Mechanicum/Imperial Guard players? Bitch some more? Write a shitty fanfiction about Marneus Calgar teabagging Farsight? Or maybe just infect the 40K forums with more of your fecal brain matter? Reading some of those people's posts I'm generally surprised that they have the mental capacity to even be able to read, write or paint, but then again the Astartes models are big and have large, flat surfaces, all the easier for those syphilitic monkeys to clash their brushes on them.

At this point I wanted to say that I feel really sorry for Eldar and Tyranids players, who did not had a decisive victory over the Imperium in years, unless you count the Mymeara and Anphelion campaigns, made by Forgeworld. Sucks to be them, I guess. Should have chosen the Master Race suckers, even tough the Master Race kinda blows and is really, really boring in general. Yeah, you've heard it. The current fluff quality for the Imperium is horrible, with only Gaunt's Ghosts representing any level of decent storytelling and no, Horus Heresy is horrible and with every book, it spirals even more downwards into hell of identical power armoured dudes, fighting other power armoured dudes, while some immortals watch creepily from the sides, doing... nothing really. Yeah, the whole Perpetuals plot seems to have been dropped from the story altogether. None of them had a geneseed in them, so maybe that was the reason.

Watching that whole affair made me realise one, sad thing. If I'll ever leave this hobby, then it won't be beacause of high prices, time, real life problems. No, it'll be because I'll read one too many threads about an outraged, basement-dwelling virgin who'll be furious about glorious captain Steelpants getting killed by an Eldar, the only casualty on the Imperium's side, while the Xenos will get once again wiped out to a man. Then it'll be time to fucking quit that whole ordeal and finally move on to a less toxic hobby. Like professionally playing Battlefield or Call of Duty.

Warhammer 40,000 has a lot of factions to collect, paint and play. Space Marines and Imperium in general, are not the only ones. They are not the only ones to recieve regular updates, new minis, cool story arcs and victories. There are players who don't get a hard on for "beakies" and Leman Russes, and who also deserve some love and recognition for their favorite armies, even if said armies don't have the Imperial Aquila as their symbol of allegiance. Hammer that into your thick, ceramite-plated skulls. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go back to assembling my Horus Heresy Ultramarines. It's kinda hard for me to find the willingness to do so tough. Don't really know why.

Oh and here's a nice, farewell pic from the Age of Sigmar.

Nothing is sacred. NOTHING!

Until next time!

Xathrodox86