"Beat the boredom!" Episode 8: "There are no Such Things as Skaven" by Sami Uusitalo

Yeah, about that official adventure review - it ain't gonna happen. At least right now. For you see, I've finally read "There are no Such Things as Skaven" by Sami Uusitalo, and have fallen in love with that scenario.

Metaphorically speaking, of course! This 2nd edition scenario is probably in my personal top 3 WFRP modules of all time, and the fact that I haven't GMed it yet is a travesty. Fortunately that will change in 2 days, as I'm about to unleash this masterpiece on my unsuspecting players who've just entered Averheim (the change in location is the only alteration I'll make here).

Anyway, what is this scenario about, exactly? Skaven! Skaven, and all of their vile schemes! A prosperous town of Ashendorf, near the great city of Nuln, was visited by the evil ratmen some 150 years ago. The mythical beasts brought with them a horrible plague that decimated the populace of the city, and its ruling elite decided to make a devil's bargain. In order to save Ashendorf, they've given all of their children to the mutated ratmen. That day the sinister Ordo Triangulus was born. A cult of madmen worshipping the eldritch deity of the Skaven, the Great Horned Rat himself! The current leadership of this fell cult has some big and nefarious plans, concerning the hated church of Sigmar. Plans which they'll put in motion, unless a unlikely band of heroes will stop them in their tracks!

Or else the Horned Rat will get his due... (artwork by Pasi Juhola)

"There are no Such Things as Skaven" has everything a good WFRP scenario needs. It has evil cults, grim aristocrats, mysterious elven maidens, crazy puppeteers possessed by feisty daemons, and rats. Lots and lots of rats. I don't have to tell you that we're talking about the "big" kind of rats. The kind which has a huge Under-Empire, state-of-the-art technology and ambitions of such grandeur, that they can't even be considered "megalomaniacal" anymore. Yes, the mythical Skaven are the main centerpiece and Sami presented them in a fantastic, half-mythical manner. It was a long, long time since I've read about them in such a creepy, foreboding way. It does a lot to make me impressed by the presentation of this foreboding race, but Uusitalo managed to do that with almost no effort. That's how good he writes. I knew about it, ever since I've read his "Order of the Feathered Lord", but this scenario only reinforced my opinion about the man. He's probably one of the best WFRP fan material authors out there, at least in my opinion.

"There are no Such Things as Skaven"is a quite lengthy adventure, and it will probably take 3-4 sessions for your average party to finish it completely. It has a great pace and the atmosphere is thick and suspensful. The party will slowly uncover the true horror that is threatening the enitrety of Ashendorf, as well as Nuln itself, and it'll be only up to them to put an end to it. Succeeding won't be easy, as the Ordo Triangulus is composed of the most important and powerful men in all of the city, and their bestial benefactors won't take kindly to anyone snooping around their buisness.

When it comes to combat encounters, "There are no Such Things as Skaven" is pretty tame. The only large fight occurs at the very end of the scenario, and honestly it's not that bad, especiall for a fairly experienced and clever party. While initially I was kinda dissapointed that the author didn't include more lethal encounters, I quickly realised that this adventure doesn't need them. It's 100% about suspense, mounting tension, mystery and investigation. Fighting, in the case of "There are no Such Things as Skaven", is not important, and that is something for which I once again have to praise Sami Uusitalo. He wrote a Warhammer scenario where combat is not necessary. That's no easy feat.

I honestly think that "There are no Such Things as Skaven" should be played by everyone who enjoys Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay, and who likes a good mystery with creepy and unsettling atmosphere and overall theme. This one is too good to not try it out, and will be a real treat to both players and GMs everywhere. You can find it here. Download it, read it, play it. If there's one Warhammer scenario that you should try, it's this one.

Also, I've been informed that I've forgotten to post a link to the "Blood Is Thicker" adventure, which I reviewed last week. Here it is. I don't have to tell you, that it's also worth checking out, right?

I'm returning to my usual posting schedule. Next post will be almost certainly a movie review, although there are a few Warhammer video games which I'd love to write about, as this whole quarantine thing gave me a bit more time to indulge in some digital entertainment. We shall see what the future holds.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Rats. Lots and lots of rats! (artwork by Pasi Juhola)

Take care and... until next time!

Xathrodox86